Undone - The Sweater Song

Watch me unravel. I’ll soon be naked.

I’m still grieving.

I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

I don’t want to.

I don’t believe grief ever ends.

I believe grief is part of life.

I believe grief is healthy.

I don’t believe my grief is holding me back.

I believe my grief is how I move forward.

I believe that sharing my grief with others makes a positive impact.

I also believe that sharing it with others help me move forward.

I believe I can grieve and move forward at the same time.

In fact, I’m doing that.

I’m moving forward.

I’m dating.

Sort of.

I also still talk a lot about Mark.

I miss Mark.

I talk to him.

Out loud.

In bed.

At work.

In public.

While walking down the street.

At the store.

After a bad date.

After a good date.

Sometimes to thank him for giving me a good date.

Sometimes to tell him that yes, I’m perfectly clear that it was not a good date and no, I don’t want to hear his opinions about it.

When I’m then judging myself for telling a dead guy not to laugh at me.

When I’m frustrated.

When I’m happy.

When something reminds me of him.

When I want to text him a picture of my food.

When I want him to look after the people in my life.

When I hear a song on the radio that reminds me of him.

When I’m pretty sure that he somehow made that song come on the radio.

I used to think this made me a crazy person.

I still do.

I talk to a dead guy.

A lot.

I think he’s proud of me.

I think that sometimes he cock-blocks me on dates.

I think that he plays jokes on me.

I think he sends me signs and hints.

I think he uses others to send me signs and hints.

I think they know this.

I think YOU know this.

I also think you’ll think I’m crazy for thinking this.

I think I’m crazy for thinking this.

I think Mark knows this makes me feel like a crazy person and likes to use it to play more jokes on me and have me further question my sanity.

I think that even if I’m not crazy and this all just makes me feel better, that’s okay.

And I think that if I AM crazy, I’d like to stay that way.