Hear You Me

What would you think of me now? So lucky, so strong, so proud. I never said thank you for that. Now I'll never have a chance. 

I knew this day would come - the day when I'd trade anything for even a minute with Mark.

Even saying that is painful, and this is as far as I can go down that road. It's too much. I never wanted to feel this way. It'll pass, as all things do, but for now, I've had my fill of longing for the impossible and need to rest.

At least I can say that I dipped my toe into whatever this new stage of grief is. Maybe I'll take things a step further next week.